Liana Liu

As you can see, this first entry is no such thing. Instead, it is an explanation, a rationalization, and an apology. It turns out I have overestimated myself; I am far more timid than I supposed.

I have a long history of overestimating my abilities. For example, when I went to New Zealand, I signed up for a mountain biking trip, even though I had never mountain biked before. I had regular biked, and wouldn't you think it was almost the same, just on a mountain instead of pavement? Obviously, I didn't think this through. So, yes, there we were in the van, winding our way up the mountain, when the driver-guide mentioned that we would be biking the same trail that the New Zealand Mountain Biking Team trains on. Then he pointed at the trail. I pressed my face against the window to look. I saw grass and rocks and trees. I saw nothing that looked like a trail. And yet, I was still confident that I could do this; after all, everyday I biked two miles to school on a nicely paved bike lane--how could this be that different?

It was different. I fell off the bike about three times in the first minute. Maybe you'd better take the paved way down, the driver-guide said. So as everyone else embarked on the trail made famous by the New Zealand Mountain Biking Team, I wobbled slowly down the road. Very slowly. There was no guardrail. This was a mountain. About two minutes in, I flew over the handlebars and into the road. Apparently, mountain bike braking is different from regular bike braking. I lay there for a few minutes, whimpering. I'm going to stop here, because the story only gets sadder.

Besides, you get the point: I overestimate my abilities. In this case, I overestimated my ability to approach strangers and interview them about what they are reading. I asked a few acquaintances and they politely demurred ("I can't! I have to finish combing my hair within the hour!"). I asked some friends and they laughed in my face ("No way. Why don't you write about your mountain biking accident instead?"). Then I did what any reasonable person might do: I got drunk. Liquid courage! Unfortunately, once I was drunk I stopped caring about "that stupid column" and instead participated in a gun show competition. Yes, I don't know what that means either.

So what I've learned is this: people are so ashamed about their reading choices that they dare not talk about them. Or people just don't want to talk to me. Too bad for them, I have some bold new strategies I'm putting in action this week that may or may not involve jumping jacks.

Dear readers, be patient. You are my favorite.